


The Penalty Dinner

by ArtemisGarden, Sigridhr



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Crack, Darcyverse discord, Drabble, Gen, Murder Mystery, The Penalty Dinner, clue, darcyverse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:41:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25230313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArtemisGarden/pseuds/ArtemisGarden, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sigridhr/pseuds/Sigridhr
Summary: You are cordially invited to the Penalty DinnerOn account of having pissed me off.-Tony StarkOnly the people invited to the dinner never get to find out how they pissed Tony off. Why? Because Loki is murdered and it's up to Darcy to solve the mystery!
Relationships: Jane Foster & Darcy Lewis
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17
Collections: Darcy With the Pen in the Discord





	1. Intro to the Dinner by Sigridhr

**Author's Note:**

> Super huge shout out to the Mods of the Darcyverse Discord server for coming up with this great event <3 I hope you all enjoy my drabble addition to this collection with the intro by the fabulous Sigridhr

You are cordially invited to the Penalty Dinner  
On account of having pissed me off.  
-Tony Stark  
  


* * *

  
It was a dark and stormy night...Tony Stark’s currently least-favourite Avengers sat for dinner in the Avengers tower having no fun at all. It was by far the worst dinner party Darcy had ever been to. But that was unquestionably the point, given Tony had sealed the most unlikely (and in some cases unlikable) people in the Avengers initiative together in his locked tower and gone out for a fancy date night with Pepper, leaving them to glare at each other over entrees and listen to Loki complain endlessly about sauce. 

By the time they got to dessert, everyone in the room was ready to kill at least one other person (including Darcy), and no one was enjoying the Bread and Butter Pudding. When the lights went out suddenly, Darcy was - frankly - relieved. At least, until Loki screamed. It was a high pitched sort of scream that she wouldn’t have expected from him, but it was also a scream of absolute terror. The terror was contagious, and pretty soon everyone was stumbling around in the dark, faceplanting into the Riesling and generally falling on their faces. Carol, snapping her fingers began to glow an eerie gold and Wanda an even eerier scarlet. 

“I hate you all,” Darcy said, holding onto her shin which had expertly found the table in the dark. 

“Where’s Loki?” asked Bucky, who managed to sound both like he couldn’t care less and like he expected Loki to launch himself out of the fruit salad at them. 

The lights flickered back on, JARVIS whirring back to life with an unsettling hum. 

“My apologies,” he said, atonally. 

“Stark has got a lot to answer for,” grumbled Steve. 

“Not the least of which is the Salmon,” said Valkyrie drily. “Honestly, hollandaise?”

“What is it with you Asgardians and sauce?!” snapped Clint. “And Bucky’s right, I’d like to know where Loki is.” 

“Loki,” said JARVIS helpfully, “is no longer on the premises.”

“How come he got to leave?” asked Carol. 

“His corpse is presently decorating the foyer,” said JARVIS, even more helpfully.  
[12:56 PM]  
“His what?” said Wanda. 

“Body,” said JARVIS, “remains, cada---”

“Yes, thank you,” said Wanda, “I know what it means. Why is it there?”

“That I cannot answer,” said JARVIS. “My security feeds were disabled.” 

“Of course they were,” muttered Steve, who did sound a bit like he was approaching apoplexy.

“The building remains sealed, no one has entered or left,” Jarvis added.

“Convenient,” said Natasha. 

This, Darcy thought to herself, was the moment she’d been waiting her whole life for. Granted, she hadn’t really expected it to happen, but a lifetime of Agatha Christie novels and Sherlock Holmes series had been leading, inexorably, up to this point. It was clear now, what she had to do. 

“Guys,” she said, with all the dignity a person who had read Murder on the Orient Express more than five times could muster, “it’s time to split up and look for clues. The murderer is one of us.” 

She could hear Clint facepalming from the far side of the room.

He could facepalm all he wanted, that just meant more clues for her. The first rule of investigation was to leave no stone unturned. That meant everyone was a suspect: even Clint, with his facepalming, Steve with his extremely tired dad expression, Bucky who seemed to be chugging milk in an effort not to snap, Wanda who sat glowing furiously, if a bit worriedly in the corner, Carol who was chucking nuts at Valkyrie who was trying to catch them in her mouth, or Natasha, who had been exceptionally quiet throughout, and seemed to be eyeing the door in a way Darcy considered fairly reasonable. If Natasha hadn’t killed him, she was probably Darcy’s best ticket out (or even if she had. Did plucky girl detectives help murderers get away scott free in exchange for getting out of the worst dinner party slash murder ever?).

But most of all, she couldn’t rule out Loki himself. She’d heard the stories. He was probably the most likely suspect to his own demise.


	2. Murder Mystery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here are my little drabbles that I contributed to the Penalty Dinner/Clue event. I thought about making it into something longer, but I decided to just keep them as I posted them with a little editing.

"If I'm going to solve this thing," Darcy muttered to herself. "I'm going to need my trusty sidekick."

"Your taser?" Clint asked looking confused.

Darcy laughed and rolled her eyes as she stepped off the elevator. "No, my mystery solving sidekick is Jane. She's a secret murder mystery lover."

  
Clint looked confused as he followed her back to the corner of Jane's lab where a couch and a mini fridge were kept. "But didn't Jane and Thor head off world a few days ago? How're they going to get back much less get into a locked down tower?"

Darcy scoffed.

"Ye of little faith. I told Jane the second we found out Loki is dead and I told her one of us had to be the murder."

"Damnit Darce. Now Thor's going to get all sad and vengeful."

"Again, ye of little faith. Thor is busy and Jane knows there's a possibility that Loki isn't really dead. She made up some excuse so Thor wouldn't come with her."

Just as she finished speaking a small black hole (not the space kind of course) opened onto the couch and Jane plopped through.

Clint looked around the lab as Darcy filled Jane in more thoroughly, he still wasn't really sure why he followed Darcy instead of going with Nat.

He looked back up just in time to hear Darcy say, "It could have been anybody." as she and Jane gave him the side eye.

* * *

Now that her mystery solving sidekick was present Darcy led the way back to the elevator.

"Darcy, why would we leave the labs? It really seems like Loki was 'murdered' there?" Jane whispered, eyeing Clint wearily as he followed them.

"It's cool Janey-bug. Clint is solid, I really doubt he's the one who killed Loki."

"Gee thanks." Clint deadpanned as he stepped onto the elevator behind them.

"Besides," Darcy continued as if he hadn't spoken, "There are other suspects to think about."

Jane opened her mouth to reply but was cut off when the access vent slid to the side and Natasha dropped down into the elevator causing Jane to squeak and hide behind Darcy slightly until she realized who it was. "Why on Earth would you be on a moving elevator?"

Natasha smirked. "JARVIS wouldn't have let anything happen to me."

She turned to face Clint and the two of them had one of those weird spy conversations with facial expressions and eyebrow ticks.

"How do we know it wasn't Nat?" Jane whispered as she pulled Darcy over to the corner of the elevator.

"We don't, duh. That's why we have to interrogate her."

Jane made a skeptical face and Darcy kind of nodded with her. Because really, two science nerds interrogating the Black Widow of all people. It was laughable really.

But it needed to be done.

* * *

"Fuckity fuck fuck." Darcy panted as she and Jane sprinted out of the elevator and down the hall to the gym. They obviously couldn't really interrogate the Black Widow successfully, but for some reason Clint had gotten overly protective when she and Jane had started in on the questions.

That meant Clint knew something.

Something like Nat being the murderer, which meant Loki might actually be dead this time.

Darcy risked a look back and slowed to a stop as she watched the elevator doors close with Nat and Clint sill on it.

"Jane I think we're okay."

She turned to see her friend frozen in the doorway of the gym, her face turning red.

Whu-oh. Jane didn't get red from embarrassment, only anger.

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?"

Darcy quickly followed behind the shouting Jane and noticed the two shirtless super soldier standing in the middle of the boxing ring. They had looked up at Jane's shout and boy did Darcy wish them luck.

"Loki is dead and you two are here working out? Seriously?!"

Steve at least had the decency to look ashamed of himself while Bucky just shrugged. "'S'not like he was all that great of a guy."

"How do we know it wasn't you who killed him?" Jane asked with her arms crossed and eyes narrowed.

Darcy winced at the accusation, but didn't say anything to correct her friend.

Bucky rolled his eyes.

* * *

Darcy poured a shot from the bar for herself and for Jane. Jane had really torn into Steve and Bucky back in the gym and needed a drink, whereas Darcy needed a drink from the sheer secondhand embarrassment of watching the tiny scientist tear into the super soldiers. 

" I don't know how I'm going to tell Thor that Loki's actually dead....again." Jane groaned as she clinked her glass against Darcy's and took the shot.

Darcy winced, downed hers, and poured two more shots.

"Well, maybe if we figure out what happened, he'll have someone to focus on?" she suggested.

"I guess."

"Pour me one?" The voice made both of them jump and whip around to see Wanda leaning against the other end of the bar.

Darcy slumped a little. She wasn't usually so jumpy, but having an actual murder to solve and not just one of Loki's tricks made her a little nervous.

"Are you even old enough to drink?" Jane asked squinting at Wanda who rolled her eyes in return.

As Wanda walked down the bar in their direction, Darcy noticed she looked a little off too.

"I believe I know who the murderer is." Wanda whispered as she picked up the shot glass.

Darcy and Jane traded cautious looks.

"How do you know it isn't one of us?"

"Wanda snorted. "No offense, Darcy, but I really doubt you could kill anyone other than in self-defense and Jane wasn't even here."

"Point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For my round of The Penalty Dinner the answer turned out to be: Natasha killed Loki in the Labs with Magic.
> 
> I'm thinking of adding more to this fic, but I'm not 100% sure if I will or not.


End file.
